nut hugger
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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