In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
