He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
