And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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