The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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