I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just want nice things and good sex
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
