Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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