I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
