News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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