Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
