Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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