Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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