I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
