things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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