You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My life is pants optional.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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