Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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