I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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