i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
