We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Tell her she can't have a vagina
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
