Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
