girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
