yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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