I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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