No awkward lesbian experiences without me
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
my shit smells like andre
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
