you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
