you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
