you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
