dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
