What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
