I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The Olympian is in my bed
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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