Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
