if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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