Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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