i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize