Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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