We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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