so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
