She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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