$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
