bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
