Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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