her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
