lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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