hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
