just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
