you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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