I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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