I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
