problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
