I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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