Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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