ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
