Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I haven't been this sober since birth.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Randomize
