I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
