It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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