Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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