i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize