He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
