what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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