And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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