so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
