Someone shit on the floor
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
