he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
