Its about making memories worth repressing
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
