we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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