this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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