At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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