I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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